


Though I'm Weak

by ishre_yann



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Earthborn (Mass Effect), F/M, I Don't Even Know, Paragade (Mass Effect), Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), a lil bit of fluff, garrus is an awkward potato, i guess?, original/personalized female shepard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-17 06:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8133188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishre_yann/pseuds/ishre_yann
Summary: Shepard's last minutes of consciousness are confused and full of struggle, because of both the physical effort and the psychological trauma she's been through. The only thing she knows, the Reapers must be destroyed and she is not willing to give up on life just yet. When she wakes up, she's more clear-headed and definitely more inclined to rationalize what she's just done.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pica/gifts).



> Little info here for you: I personalized my fem!Shepard, she's basically dark-skinned with blue eyes and her hair is dark red with a military haircut (shoooorts, very very very shorts I love 'em so much, they're so shorts they don't end up in nobody's eyes when she moves too much(?)). Anyway, her name is Andrea and, uhm, that's it.  
> Hope you enjoy!

She doesn’t remember a lot, only flashes: stairs, heavy breath, guilt, a prayer - even though she doesn’t really believe in a god to pray to. Flashes of shooting - the high, single noise coming out from her sniper rifle, the world through a scope, - despair, tears down her face. A child’s voice, wrong and old - he had colours and then not. He is colourless in a flash, stripped of every meaning apart from the aspect of what a child is. She can’t find innocence, nor a joyful smile - only cold logic. The machines’ kind of logic. She remembers wanting to save him too, only to just realise it was impossible - if not foolish.

_Please, come back._

She’s standing, but her legs don’t really sustain her. She’s floating, although she’s still.

_Come back to me._

She remembers screaming, for the first time in her life, she remembers letting go of everything. Something hitting her, her chest hurts until she falls. Cold, hot, then warm. The pain takes everything away, draining the light out of her sight. Until it’s only darkness.

She can’t tell when the pain stopped. She only knows it did, at some point.

_I love you._

She loves. She knows she does, but that’s it.

She loves and she misses. Though she couldn’t really say who or what.

It’s numb and dark, wherever she is now. Tucked away from everything. She could do that, hide from everything. It’s been hard, going on and making sure the pace was kept. They had to keep going. _She_ had to.

_You know…_

His voice is mixed up, two tones together - nasal.

_I never thought this would happen._

He always kept her company. It makes sense he’d do it even now.

_And it’s all thanks to you._

She doesn’t remember.

_Shepard._

She doesn’t want to remember.

_Andrea._

She can’t remember.

_Please._

She can’t.

_Come back to me._

 

* * *

 

Shepard’s expression is the first signal she’s conscious again. She grimaces at the insistent beeping sound she hears all around her, banging against her temples. The first thing she realises is, she’s laying down on a hospital bed. Her body feels numb, tired. Her eyelids feel heavy, her eyes are blinded by the sudden light filling the room. And it feels like waking up during her first days at the N7, after days of exhausting training where nobody really got to take a break. Her blue eyes run down from her chest - white sheets covering and blurring the shapes of her body - while her arms rest by her sides, untouched by nothing but a bunch of IVs.

Her vision is blurred most of the time, she looks but it takes so much effort just to focus on a single element, it’d be infuriating - if only she’d have the energy to even get annoyed. All Shepard can feel is how gravity is trying to drag her back to sleep, and for a second it doesn't seem a bad idea. She wouldn't even notice the dark, silent figure at her side if it wasn’t for a sharp breath. A twitch.

Shepard turns and Garrus is there, as if he was never supposed to be anywhere else.

It’s not surprising, it shouldn’t be surprising.

The thing is, Shepard is still surprised.

“Shepard,” Garrus calls, drawing near - only a few inches. She can see how his scars are now opened again due to a bunch of bruises now become blue scabs. He’s not wearing any outfit she’s ever seen him with. He’s wearing a dark jacket with a loose collar that only traces his carapace, leaving his neck and part of his chest visible. He also still uses the same colours: black and the same tone of blue he has on his facial plates. Shepard can’t see the rest of it, but she’s sure even the trousers will have the same style.

Shepard tries to reply, but her voice is harsh and her throat is dry, so it comes out with effort - delayed. A grunt.

“Don’t force yourself,” he interrupts, his talons already on her hand, keeping it steady and safe.

Shepard doesn’t even realise she’s drifting back into nothingness until it’s dark again - and time shrinks as if it’s only been a heartbeat.

 

* * *

 

The first thing she remembers is Anderson, right next to her, a little tilted on her side so he could rest his head on her shoulder. Warmness draining from him as if something had grabbed it and was now stealing it from his body. _You did good, child._ Anderson’s memory then brings other ones - Hackett’s confused voice and her attempt to reach the controls. Tiredness, blackness while the platform floats without her even noticing. Then the child, the one who kept haunting her dreams. The child has a voice, but it’s sharp and cuts like a knife - it’s wrong and _wrong,_ as if something far more old and mature hides inside it. Something that takes away everything a child should be. And then . . .

“Earth to Shepard, do you copy?”

The first thing she knows, it’s what Garrus still hasn’t told her.

“Is something wrong?”

Shepard doesn’t tear her eyes away from him, she knows she won’t be able to. She can read Garrus’ confusion spreading from his face to his body language when her eyes tear up and the first sob breaks through the silence.

Garrus has stopped asking questions, he’s silent now, mouth wide open - lost and confused.

“I killed them all,” she breathes between the sobs - and it feels knives through her throat, “I knew they’d die too, and I still did it.”

It hurts, but she doesn’t know how to hold it inside. She sobs, and how crazy is that? Commander Andrea Sheard doesn't cry, never did - not that everyone knows of. And if she did, nobody knew. Until now. They only knew she took some time off to mourn her comrades from Akuze - and that’s it.

Garrus is staring at her with sympathy, leaning so that he can be as close as he can get. He is silent, leaving Shepard with her grief. She’s sure he already mourned the fallens, but enthusiasm and celebrations must’ve had the best.

She doesn’t know how long she’s been in that hospital bed. It doesn't matter, she knows what happened: every race acknowledged the geth’s death and they would’ve shown respect for about fifteen minutes before turning their attention to something far greater than death, victory. They’d won, so they would’ve mourned later, when all celebrations were done and people were to be reminded the price they’d paid just so they could be there, that day, alive and able to enjoy what they had left.

“Legion trusted me, EDI trusted me and I- and I betrayed them,” she sobs, words choked by shaky breathes.

“How do you-”

“He told me, I knew it- he told me and I still,” her hands feel numb when she rises them to clean her face from the tears, just so new ones can drop again, “I still did it.”

“Who told you? Shepard, you should rest.”

“I don’t wanna rest!” she doesn’t like rising her voice. She can see how Garrus doesn’t expect it either, closing his mouth and leaving her space. “I shouldn’t even be here. I could’ve- I could’ve saved even them. I should’ve . . .” she closes her eyes, clenching her teeth and suffocating another sob.

“What do you mean?” Garrus asks, tentative.

“I mean that I could’ve saved the geth and EDI, there was a way and I didn’t choose it. I should’ve joined the stream, should’ve synthesized my DNA with the others, I should’ve-”

“Died.”

There’s silence after that little word. Shepard knows that Garrus is a lot of things, but he’s not stupid. He never was. So she lets that truth settle between them, closing her eyes in the end. She’s sitting properly now, her head feels light and unstable.

“I’m sorry,” she doesn’t know for what but she is. And she needs Garrus to know.

“For being here with me or having yelled at me?” he says.

“Both.”

Garrus nods, seems to get a hold of himself, not to ask for more, for explanations. So he just leans closer, finds Shepard’s forehead with his and inhales deeply.

“You did what you had to, Shepard. I don’t know what happened inside the Citadel, but I do know that I trust you with your judgement. I am grateful. I know it’s selfish but I love is selfish sometimes, right? And you came back to me, you are here and I can finally stay with you - _spirits,_ I’d be so angry if you did sacrifice yourself once more for this galaxy . . .” Garrus said, his grip strengthening on Shepard’s hand. They stay in silence for a bit, before Garrus speaks again. “While if you just need emotional comfort, then just tell me so I can shut up and . . . well, I guess hug you? I’ve been reading that embracing is a far more intimate gesture than kissing, in- in human terms. If- if you can move, of course, I wouldn’t-”

A small laugh breaks the sobs, for just a second. Shepard uses her free hand to wipe the tears off her face, her sobs reduced to only hiccups now. She doesn’t really knows what made her laugh, she only knows Garrus’ bewildered face helps lighten the mood, causing again a bunch of laughs to interrupt the hiccups.

“By the spirits, what’s happening now?” Garrus says, clearly panicking.

“Hysteria, I guess,” Shepard replies, taking a deep breath to stop - or at least try to - the hiccups.

“Is it worse or better than depression?” Garrus asks, his voice tentative.

“Depends on the situation.”

“And in this situation it’d be . . . ?”

“Better, I guess?” Shepard looks at Garrus, her smile fading almost instantly from her face. She still feels guilty, only difference this wasn’t the first time. Akuze had been training area, now she knows how to deal with this - more or less. She has Garrus by her side, which is both reassuring and uneasy at the same time.

She’s always been a lone wolf, staying or moving was never a problem. What she never needed was someone to be with her all the time - someone like Garrus, like Liara, Kaidan, Thane, Tali, James . . . even Steve. She’d found herself thinking about them, in the silence of her cabin, what would’ve happened to them once all this mess was over. She knows they won’t lose contacts, they won’t be forgotten and they won’t disappear - but Garrus will stay. He and Shepard had actually said it out loud and she meant it, just as she hopes Garrus did.

“Still lost in the clouds?” Garrus asks, waking Shepard out of her own thoughts.

She looks at him. Yeah, Garrus would stay. He would show up right when she’d be dealing with her own mind and he would probably help her - just like she did for him.

If Shepard has to be completely honest with herself, she’s not sure how this whole “help” idea will work out. She’s never been really good at letting people just help her - letting them into her mind. But she’s willing to give i a try.

“Whatever they gave me, it’s strong,” she says - dismissive. They both know it, but Garrus just smiles and adjust his posture on the chair.

“Had to double the dosage, whatever Cerberus did to you, common drugs don’t work the way they do on other humans,” he grimaces, “And, you know, there’s a whole crowd waiting for you outside the hospital. If it wasn’t for Bakara, even Wrex would be here to greet you in person.”

“Who’s out there?”

“Well, as you can imagine, Liara of course, Kaidan, Vega and Cortez and maybe even Tali, if the quarians still don’t need her help on Rannoch. Oh, maybe she’ll be late - she said something about reclaiming something before others did,” Garrus says and then shrugs, turning his head just so even Shepard can see the doors swinging open and letting in Liara.

“Miss, Miss please! You can’t go in th-”

“You do not want me outside this door, young lady, believe me,” Liara replies to the nurse, moving then towards Shepard, “I apologize, but I couldn’t wait any longer outside.”

“S’okay, was just about to ask for you and the others,” Shepard says.

_“Toma!_ I’m going in too, that’s it,” just before James’ face pops up inside the room.

“Hey, James- wait, we can’t just-”

_“Lo juro por Dios,_ Cortez, move it or get left behind.”

One by one, the Normandy crew members and even Jack and Kolyat fill the room - despite the nurse on the edge of a panic attack. Garrus doesn’t even stand up to greet them, he doesn’t really do much, if not lean a little bit away so others can get near Shepard and actually standing up when Liara threatens “to _singularity_ him out of his chair if he doesn’t let her hug Shepard”,  - other than that, Garrus doesn’t really leave Shepard side. Nobody speaks of why EDI isn’t with them, nor they bother when Grunt breaks inside the hospital, dragging with him two C-Sec officers screaming orders to their comms.

It’s a good day, after all. Shepard can’t really complain.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Supriiiiise :D bet you weren't expecting a second chapter, huh? HEHE  
> Seriously though, this is the last one. Pinky promise.
> 
> Hope you enjoy~ <3

It’s been almost a year, but they eventually managed to escape even the doctors. If Shepard can still be happy about something, with the whole “Cerberus kinda brought you back to life” thing, is that her whole body is better at handling different kind of traumas. They made her a better soldier.

Eventually, Tali came back to visit her, telling her how the geth just had stop working and how the quarians were now trying to restore back some of their datas, their effort were focused on rebuilding them - now that quarians realised what a fundamental part of their society geth are. Some of the geth had left their suits altered, they left an imprint that scientists were now using to fix whatever damage the Crucible had done.

Joker hadn’t show up - Garrus explained to Shepard how hard Jeff took EDI’s death, even though Vega had tried to cheer him up into something more hopeful than “maybe, one day”. Both Shepard and Garrus had donated a huge sum to the scientific department in charge of the Normandy’s reconstruction - they wanted to salvage as many datas as they could, since EDI basically _became_ the Normandy after the Collector abduction.

“Earth to Shepard, do you copy?” Garrus says, bringing her back to the present.

“Will you please stop calling me Shepard and start using my actual name?” Shepard says, turning towards him, a little faked-offended smirk stretching on her dark lips.

“Why, I thought Andrea was more for . . . intimate situations,” he chuckles, though he keeps his eyes on his omitool, still choosing what film they could watch during the trip.

“I can always start calling you Vakarian, _Vakarian,”_ she replied, nudging at Garrus’ arm.

“Spirits, I take it back, you _definitely_ need to call me that when we are alone,” Garrus says, his mandibles shift as he laughs softly.

“I still can't believe you’d actually have a bad boy kink,” she says, shaking her head, hiding her smile, “But seriously though, they already know my face, if you start calling me by my last name someone will definitely bother us.”

“And we don’t want that, right. Still, give me some time, it’s a lot that I don’t feel the need to call you Commander anymore.”

Shepard smiles, something near to malice this time, “Well, not anymore I hope.”

Garrus takes his time to understand the hidden meaning of her request, and she can tell when he straighten up his head and stares at her, babbling something like, “Oh . . . _Oh.”_

She laughs and they settle on their seats, chatting a little while and then keeping silent as the shuttle engages the ascent. Garrus drives Shepard’s attention on the image of Earth, right under their noses. It’s been a whole month, between physical therapy and weekly visits to the doctors to make sure her body was reacting good to the treatments. She left Earth as a bunch of wreckages and debris, now it’s not really the Earth Shepard remembers, but it surely is starting to look like it. Everyone has been working hard to help the Alliance rebuilt their homes. Campuses and houses first, then soon after food and water, electricity and every kind of basic need that everyone couldn’t live without. Now, the cities are desolated, still waiting for the authorities to remove every rubble they can find.

Hackett has been cutting her out the whole business, blaming it on the doctor’s recommendation.

“You more than earned a vacation, Shepard, get comfortable and let us do our jobs for a change,” he said before hanging up - Shepard never had a chance to reply.

So now here she is, on a shuttle for Tuchanka with Garrus at her side, dressed up as normal civilians but not quite able to blend in the crowd. Kids recognize them, women and men do too, so they end up receiving a lot of handshakes and thank you’s.

Even now, Shepard can still see the little human kid looking at her with wide eyes, now grabbing her mother’s sleeve and mumbling something at her, before peeking at Shepard again, just to realise Shepard’s looking at her and turn right over. The kid has a small jacket with a N7 strap on it and right under it, another strap with her name. Margot.

 _“Mom, she’s looking at me!”_ Shepard can hear.

Shepard chuckles, leaning over just so she can pop her head out her seat and probably block whoever might want to use the corridor.

“I’m sorry, she’s obsessed, she won’t stop talking about you and, well-”

“It’s okay, we’re gonna be here for a bunch of hours and my friend here’s still trying to decide how to spend time,” Shepard says, smiling at the mother. She lowers her eyes so she can now look at the kid, glancing at the N7 strap, “You aimin’ for the N7 program?” she then asks, waiting for the kid to turn and face her.

It takes a little encouragement and reassurance that no, Garrus may look frightening but he really is not.

“Only at Husks,” he says, stroking his mandibles with his talons when he hears the kid asking Shepard if he’s angry.

“Oh, I hate those! They took dad far away,” Margot says, her cheeks changing colour to an angry red.

Garrus has a little twitch in his seat. Shepard is more subtle about it.

“I’m sorry,” she hears Garrus, as Margot’s mother sighs and smiles - bitter.

“That’s why I want to become like you, y’know?” Margot says, “So if the Reapers ever come back, this time I can help mom and protect her!”

“Really?” Shepard says.

“Really really.”

“Well then, I’ll make sure to let Admiral Hackett know the Alliance’s gonna have a helluva recruit in a bunch of years, miss Margot . . .?”

“Oh, oh!” Margot stands up, assuming the military salute posture. “Margot Jacquar-Vredan, sir! I mean- Ma’am,” she says, still bright red.

Shepard mimics her gesture. “At ease, Recruit Jacquar-Vredan.”

“Yes sir! Ma’am!” Margot screams, driving some of the other passengers attention to her.

They chat a bit while Garrus tries to solve The Question - _Hanna Hanar or Mission Galactic 3, which one? Mmh,_ \- so she now knows that Margot’s father served in one of the platoons at Anderson’s orders and that she saw Shepard walking by before the last battle. They were supposed to stay hidden, but Margot wanted to say goodbye to her uncle one last time before the battle started - he was hiding her from Shepard’s crew apparently and had a hard time keeping it that way when the Commander herself walked not even a block away from them. Her father was Keyran Vredan, Earthborne, while her mother - Melissa Jacquar - came from one of the human colonies.

“Dismissed, you can sit down now, I’ll see you when we land,” is the last thing Shepard says to Margot, before settling in her seat one more time.

“Aye ma’am!” Margot says again, jumping back to her seat and _squeeing_ for the next thirty minutes.

Shepard goes back to her original plan: using Garrus’ shoulder as resting pillow as they watch the movie. Despite the interesting subject, she manages to actually fall asleep halfway through it and Garrus manages to rub it in her face when they land.

 

* * *

 

Wrex and Grunt are the first ones approaching the shuttle Shepard and Garrus took from the space station. Nobody really travels to Tuchanka these days, except from ambassadors or military high ranks. Garrus had convinced one of his old friends to let him and Shepard on their shuttle so here they were now: geared up so Tuchanka’s radiations don’t kill them before they even reach the first corridor.

"You two are _crazy,_ you know that Shepard?” Wrex says as he approaches, he rests his hand on Shepard's arm, shaking her a bit. Well, as far as ‘a bit’ can go for a krogan.

“How do you humans say? _Batshit_ crazy, right?” Grunt says, embracing (crushing) Garrus in his arms.

“Woah there, Grunt, I too am happy to see you- ouch- but could you . . . spare my carapace, yes?” Garrus says as he tries to escape Grunt’s hug.

“Grunt, he’s gonna have to do all the hard work from now on, I need him healthy,” Shepard says - even though she has to say, it’s not that bad of a sight, having a bunch of friends inside the krogans.

“Why, thank you, and I was so sure you also had feelings for me,” Garrus says, before Grunt suddenly releases him, making Garrus almost trip over a bunch of debris.

“This turian? Doing the hard work? At your place? _Pfft,_ don’t make me laugh, Shepard,” Grunt says, shaking his head.

Both Wrex and Grunt have some fresh scars to display to them, telling the story of how they got them - slamming one against each other when one of them wants to start first. Shepard has always felt like she’s between a bunch of kids. The kind of kids that don’t know when to stop and especially won’t take a no as an answer if they don’t respect you enough to value what you say.

Wrex takes them where all the mothers are, in the east-wing of their village. As soon as they pass the last collapsed wall, they can already hear the mayhem coming from the shanty town. A mass of tents and entire pieces of concrete piled up together. Some female krogans are outside, on the street - well, as far as the term street can go - playing with small versions of Wrex, only with different tones of colours on their carapaces, but only rough parts of hide just right where the carapace will likely grow and cover. Their hide is yellow-ish, some have more colorless tones, somes tent almost to a dark ochre. Their eyes are so small that all Shepard can see are the black pupils. They’re almost cute, if they weren’t attempting to bite and grab everything they could reach.

“You know, when you wrote you’d pass by to adopt a krogan and say hello, I was pretty sure the adoption part was a joke. Or well, an excuse at best,” Wrex says.

“Well, she had mentioned something before the last battle, I’m pretty sure we’d have - how did you call it? - ah, yes, bad karma if we didn’t keep the promise,” Garrus says, his mandibles moving a bit and assuming something as near as a smile.

“Bad karma? What’s that?” Grunt says, looking at both Shepard and Garrus with curiosity.

“It’s, as far as I could read on the subject, a negative vibration that we carry along ourselves and that must be . . . discharged? Well, with good karma, which is a positive vibration created through good deeds.”

“You lost me at subject,” Grunt says, making both Wrex and Shepard laugh.

“Forget it, bad things will happen to us if we don’t keep the promise,” Garrus says.

“Now, _that’s_ an answer!” Wrex laugh, nudging again at Garrus and almost throwing him off balance.

Shepard is distracted by some the small baby krogans _rolling_ on the ground. She stops when one of the mothers turns the corner and looks more than familiar. Bakara wears a similar outfit she was wearing when Shepard rescued her on Sur’Kesh. The colours are still dark, but now it’s something greenish with black curved lines, the same material as the metal plate on her head. She looks up and meets Shepard’s eyes - her posture changes as she approaches, her hands reaches for Shepard’s and Shepard does the same, resting her hands on Bakara’s forearms.

“It’s good to see you, friend,” Bakara says - her voice rises just enough for Shepard to hear over the mess that’s going on.

“Are we really doing this?” Shepard hears Garrus asking, right behind her.

“Don’t you dare chicken out on me now, Vakarian,” she says, turning so Garrus too can see Bakara.

“What is that even supposed to mean?” Garrus says, together with Bakara’s “What’s a chicken?”

Shepard looks for Wrex, mouthing a _back me up_ at him. She is damn sure she explained Wrex - but then, Wrex is not that good with the whole remembering process.

“That’s the funniest human saying. I love it. Here me out. It means you’re a coward, like a chicken - right?” Wrex surprisingly says, turning towards Shepard with a silent question in his eyes. Shepard nods and grins, so Wrex keeps going, “Because, you see, chickens are birds - like you, Vakarian! - and they run from anything, even themselves, because everything scares them!”

Garrus, at that, _swells_ his chest, his mandibles twitch and he starts looking back and forth between Shepard and Wrex, mouth open, clearly short on words - and even if he does find them, Shepard interrupts him with her laughter.

“What? What now?” Garrus says, exasperation building up in his subvocals.

Everyone, at this point, just waits for Shepard to be done, she can tell. Sometimes it’s hard being the only human in the group, but she’s willing to educate everyone on human humor.

“Nothing, you just did one of those bird-things,” she explains and, at that, Wrex and Grunt light up and laugh too, causing _the same reaction_ from Garrus. Which adds even more laughs - even Bakara giggles, while Shepard has decided to just go with Grun d Wrex all the way.

“Spirits, who needs enemies? I have you,” Garrus says, shaking his head.

Shepard pats him on the shoulder, winning a fake-offended glare, before Garrus smoothes his gear, clears his throat and walks ahead.

“I am not a chicken. Now, let’s do this so I can slap in your face how _I_ was the one who chose our son.”

“Son? Why not a daughter?” Sheard asks.

“Shepard, you betray us all,” Wrex says - and also looks like he’s about to say something more, if Bakara didn’t slap him on he head.

“Shut up, Wrex, it’s their choice,” Bakara crosses her arm, staring then at Grunt as if she’s daring him to say something.

Grunt raises his arms, “Hey, I didn’t say anything.”

“Yet,” Bakara says.

Garrus is still watching the baby krogans when Shepard walks by his side. His higher plates are a bit shifted towards the center of his face. If Shepard didn’t know better, she wouldn’t even recognise there’s something on his mind.

“What about Tuchanka’s atmosphere?” he asks, “If we take he - or she - away from their home, they likely won’t be able to go back on Tuchanka without wearing a specific gear, might be problematic in the future.”

Shepard crosses  her arms, tilting her head on her left. She purses her lips, “I know.”

It’s not like she hasn’t thought about it.

“If I may, every krogan would be lining up to let their baby come with you, if it meant that they’d be raised up by Shepard herself,” Bakara says, joining them. She stops at Shepard free side, gaining both Shepard’s and Garrus’ looks. “They still don’t know who you are, otherwise they’d be rushing here from all over the planet just to see you - and probably challange you.”

Garrus chuckles, “Ah, well, I’m always game for some shooting competition.”

“And here I was, thinking I could savour my permanent shore leave,” Shepard says, cracking a smile at Garrus.

“Oh, but you do know that such a thing does not exist when I am implied in it,” Garrus says, winking at her.

Shepard leaves him just so she can turn again and look at Bakara, “You sure they won’t miss them?”

“Krogans are a lot of things, Shepard, but we are not exemplar parents. If they knew their son would be joining clan Shepard this very day, then you’d bet they’d fight to see who deserves the right to,” Bakara says, “You’re considered as powerful as Urdnot Wrex, and you were Grunt’s Commander, which also puts you in a position similar to a clan leader, a powerful clan leader who destroyed the Collectors and the Reapers with her clan - if I were a male krogan, I’d sure as hell wish I could be part of something like this, so I’d fight to give my son or daughter the chance to achieve greatness.”

“Well, I already know we won’t be able to take them away from the military academy,” Garrus says, “So it’s not like they would pass their days doing nothing.”

“And if you do choose a female, your education system is far more developed than ours will ever be - if there’s ever gonna be one,” Bakara says.

Shepard leans just enough so her shoulder bounces against Garrus’. He reachers with his arm and circles her shoulders, looking at the baby krogans.

“So, we doing this?” Shepard asks, looking up at him.

Garrus nods, squeezing a bit her shoulder.

Bakara acknowledges their decision and rallies almost the whole village. It really is a good thing nobody has known Shepard and Garrus were about to visit Tuchanka, because when Bakara explains why they’re here, half of the male krogans start arguing on whose son should have the ‘privilege’. While females, at least, argue with half the energy and are definitely more civilized.

Shepard can tell Garrus is enjoying himself, murmuring small “Look at that” in Shepard’s ear when a bunch of male krogans start headbutting themselves.

It’s Wrex voice that calms most of the males down, while Grunt divides the stubborn ones.

Eventually, the males leave the final choice to the females. Shepard is almost shocked by how civil they are, it’s hard not to notice such a contrastive element, not after having dealt with Grunt and Wrex.

Bakara joins the discussion, leaving Shepard and Garrus in silence as they notice a small group forming in the middle of the tents. Every female brings with her one or two baby krogans.

“They must be the volunteers?” Garrus says, looking at them.

Shepard shrugs, leaving his side so she can walk towards Bakara. Garrus follows after a few steps, stopping at her side.

“Some of them don’t want to separate from their babies,” Bakara explains, “It’s been a long time since any of them could hold one in their arms.”

Shepard nods, looking at the other females.

“Why would they volunteer, then?” Garrus asks, voicing Shepard thoughts.

“Some of them have reached the end of their lives, they won’t be here to see their babies grow up and make sure they’re as strong as the others.”

Shepard and Garrus exchange a look, before nodding and looking at the baby krogans.

“You know, I feel like we are gonna be beheaded no matter what,” Garrus says.

Shepard chuckles, “Eh, we’ll see about that.”

They take their time until it’s almost awkward, and Shepard usually doesn’t do awkward. They can’t clearly decide when Garrus jokingly says “Take them all, then” and Shepard stares at him with sudden realization.

Garrus regrets it immediately, “Shepard- Andrea. No.”

“Shepard- Andrea. Yes,” she replies, turning and almost tripping over a baby krogan who appears to have settled right behind her.

She stops, looking at what could be the small version of Grunt with reddish hide near the plaques and small eyes, with a hint of blue around the big pupils.

“Hello there, you’re blocking my way, little thing,” she says.

She knows the krogan doesn’t have a translator, but Shepard’s voice must sound funny since she hears a growling sound, almost excited, when she speaks. She raises her eyebrows, looking at Garrus.

“What?” he asks as he approaches her side, finally able to look over her shoulders, “Oh.”

The baby krogan blurts out something similar to a “barw barw barw” at Garrus, grabby hands reaching for his talons.

“I think she, or he, likes you,” Shepard says, chuckling.

“Whose baby is this?” Garrus asks when Bakara turns to look what’s happening.

“Orphan, I believe, there’s plenty of them,” Bakara says.

“Nobody really takes orphans with them, you never know whose prole they might be, and if they have weak genes then who would risk their name for them?” Wrex says, crouching in front of Shepard.

“I am an orphan,” Shepard says, raising her eyebrow.

“Ow, ow, ow! No, that’s not for playing! Ow-”

Shepard turns and finds the baby krogan ‘attacking’ Garrus’ legs, using his spurs to climb them.

“She or he?” Shepard asks, looking at Bakara.

“It’s a her, though she doesn’t have a name yet.”

“I say we call her Grunt Junior,” Garrus says.

“Fuck you, chicken!” They hear from the crowd of male krogans.

Garrus laugh, before going back to detaching the baby krogan from his spurs.

“What do you think, what’s a cool krogan name?” Shepard says, turning towards Wrex and Bakara.

“Chozke, Jeyasi, Qedtar, Droydok . . .” Bakara says.

“Qedtar sounds great,” Shepard interrupts.

“I do like Qedtar,” Garrus agrees. He’s holding the baby now, dodging random hands trying to grab his mandibles. Garrus softly chuckles, before going “Ow ow ow” when the baby reaches his scarred mandible.

“Wait, you want _her?”_ Wrex says.

“Shut. Up. Wrex,” Bakara says, slapping him again.

Shepard and Garrus exchanges a look, then they both look at Wrex and Bakara and go “Yup” together.

Bakara looks at Wrex, who shrugs and scratches his big head.

 

* * *

 

_January 9th, 2188_

From: Admiral Hackett

To: A. Shepard

Subject: --no subject--

 

_Shepard,_

 

_I know we owe you a big deal but, how in the very heavens could you possibly think bringing a krogan on Earth was a good idea? Especially adopting her. We have a great deal of orphan on Earth, and I am very grateful for your and Garrus’ charity campaign, still I fail to see why a krogan._

_Nevertheless, I did appreciate your . . . present, so I might say you can download your adoptions files_ _from this private server_ _and send them back compiled, so I also might realise we already have them in our databases._

 

_Admiral S. Hackett_

 

_PS: is Garrus really willing to help me convince General Tavkar on a less formal meeting? I would very like to discuss her strategy in front of a good bottle of wine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am BAD at beta-reading my own stuff - "my own" not strictly required, cough.  
> If you happen to see anything weird, please let me know!  
> If you just drop a comment, then I'll squee in my chair and smile like a sap all day long.

**Author's Note:**

> *deep breath* hello, I am super-duper late with ME3 I KNOW, I am very sorry but I was very busy fangirling over Dragon Age Inquisition (yeah, I am generally late, whatcha gonna do 'bout it) anyway, English is not my first language so if you happen to find some mistakes please let me know down in the comments / wherever you feel comfortable. I am bad - pls help me say BAD - at betareading my own shit, so it's a struggle for me - one I will never win. You'd help me very, very much if you actually had the patience, or time.  
> Thank you for reading, double it if you leave kudos / comments / whatever <3


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